College

I have been having minor freakouts about college lately. It comes from a lot of stuff actually. I am sooooooooo excited to be able to move away from home finally, but it still sucks because I am moving out at 17, and there's so much I still can't do because I'm a (minor). Ugh!

Truthfully, I am terrified of being on the cross country team. In high school I did it with my friends to have fun. I wasn't a serious athlete on that team. I got a varsity letter, but I am still afraid that I won't be good enough for the coaches or my teammates and the idea of that scares me. I want to be the best I can be, but I also want to be able to push myself to the next level.

I am also worried about having the "big D" on campus. I know there are going to be other diabetics at school, and I know I am in control of myself enough to handle my diabetes, but I still worry. In ways though, I think going to college will be good for me and my diabetes. I am the only one from my high school going to Cabrini, none of the kids there knew me before this summer. I was diagnosed when I was a sophmore, and kids at school knew the Jamie before diabetes hit, and then they knew me afterwards kinda in a different light. Going to college, the kids will only see me the way I am today, and they won't compare me to what I used to be. I like that idea, and the fact that they only know me as me.

I have a funny story from my visit to NYC that is only funny because it is after the fact, I am actually just going to paste a copy of it because I wrote about it on a forum I belong to already:

My friend and I were invited to NYC to see the taping of a new TV show called "Karen's Court", and we had to go through security at the studio. The guard going through my bad saw my insulin pen and opened it and started playing with it (twisting the knob and all) and I said "Can you not play with that please, sir? It's really expensive and I need it" so he gave me like this funny look and smashed the knob back down and the pen literally exploded. The needle cap blew off and the rubber cap on the vial flew off and shot 150 units of Humalog everywhere. I was 2 1/2 hours from home with a tour group and left with no insulin whatsoever. What made it worse was that I had eaten a dougnut earlier knowing that I had a lot of insulin in my bag, but now it was all gone. The guy who was leading the group was coincidentally, my 8th grade history teacher so I was in pretty safe hands, but we weren't allowed to leave the studio for four hours, so I had to wait until we got out. By then my sugar was 480 mg/dL and I was starting to feel bad. After the studio, we all got back on the tour bus and we got dropped somewhere in the city. My teacher led us to this resturant where we were supposed to eat lunch, and dropped the rest of the group. Then he took my friend and I in search of a CVS, which is the only drugstore that will accept my insurance. You would think a city as big as NYC would have a few more CVS's, but it took forever to find one. We had to finally get a taxi to find one on 42nd street (we passed like 12 duane reade's on the way). Once we found the store, it took forever to explain to them what had happened and they had to call my home pharmacy and call my endocrinologist to get an emergency prescription since my usual one wasn't up for renewal yet. So I had an unexpected copay on something and less money than anticpated to spend in NY. BUt after that, I got my shot in and I felt a lot better. Back at the studio, no one could find the guard who made my pen explode. I don't know what happened to him when they finally found him since I am assuming that he was found. But that's my tragic story of why security guards can be stupid.